I saw beauty in furrowed faces shaped by life, and I saw disgust and ugliness in the faces of those commonly deemed rich and beautiful. So, what is beauty? I have asked myself this question for many years. Because I saw beauty in so many people, yet I could never truly tie it to outward appearances: there were those who were heavy, thin, athletic, and average folks—some even resembled each other, yet I found one person beautiful and another less so.
I believe I’ll never find a definitive answer. But that’s not a problem, because beauty, I think, can’t be boxed into categories. It’s the same fallacy as perfection. Outside of individual perception, it just doesn’t exist. It’s a personal sensation, not a universal rule!
What does exist are stereotypes that we encounter repeatedly through idealized images in the media, which are meant to make us believe that they are beautiful. We look up to these people, after all, they are public and, somehow, famous. So, there must be a reason for that.
The perfidy behind it?
These beauties are exceptions. Very few people will ever look like that. But there are others who conveniently offer remedies: be it the cheaper option—creams and jars of skincare products supposedly making us look twenty years younger (in my eyes, these products are akin to snake oil, since aging is genetically determined), or—if the wallet is fuller—surgical procedures meant to rectify nature’s „mistakes.“
But have you ever asked yourself why we must always look young? Why we always need a six-pack, impossibly perfect breasts, or enormous genitals? Or why we must mold our appearance to match these fundamentally meaningless figures from TV reality?
Does it make us more beautiful, or even happier?
No. We are being manipulated. From a young age, we’re taught to repeat certain patterns, fulfill certain expectations—and when our personal reality collides with the supposedly expected societal acceptance, we become dissatisfied or fearful. Fearful of what, exactly? We begin to secretly live out our desires—which ultimately leads to relationships that don’t last, but fail. In the best case, we simply break up; in the worst, we begin to cheat on our partner.
Although, no. The betrayal actually occurred during the initial meeting! When we choose partners based on what matches the apparent societal expectations. Maybe there is sympathy, perhaps even admiration, but does that suffice for a real relationship? And at this point, one could also question the concept of monogamy, but I think it’s like perfection and beauty: a decision made on a case-by-case basis!
In the past, it was normal for gay men to enter sham marriages. Not because they were happy doing so, but because society didn’t accept their way of life. This phenomenon isn’t limited to gay men, however—it runs through all layers of society.
Example: A senior employee of a German airline is attracted to plus-sized women—but in his professional environment, flawless perfection (here it is again) is demanded. What will he do? Follow his heart and desires, or pick a trophy partner and cheat with a woman who aligns with his actual sense of beauty?
And yes, of course, the reverse could also be true. Perhaps beauty ideals clash with a fetish? I don’t know. What I do know is that the societal pressure—which actually doesn’t even exist—often has a fatal impact on people and leads to tragic missteps for everyone involved.
This analysis is based on my own self-observations. As I mentioned elsewhere, I find women of a certain age—or no, with a certain inner maturity—attractive. I absolutely cannot tie this solely to outward appearances. Whether heavy, slim, older, younger—although in my case, younger and athletic are quite rare. It’s a particular kind of charisma and character that appeal to me, and that, unfortunately, are rare.
In my eyes!
So no, I can’t provide a universal definition of what beauty is. But it rarely aligns with what is seen in advertisements and the like. Those are well-lit and carefully presented sales tricks. Nothing more. Most of the people showcased there wouldn’t even be recognizable on the street without makeup, lighting, and the right camera angle.
People kept unhappy by false ideals make better customers because a content person doesn’t need any of the junk marketed to „become beautiful.“ They are beautiful from within, and those who deserve them recognize that.
The rest? They still need to grow and develop their own beauty.
So, if you want to truly be beautiful, stand by yourself and what you like. Everything else is a betrayal of yourself and others…