I’d like to invite you to join me on a little journey. A journey back to a time when I thought less about the consequences of my actions and words—or more accurately, about what happens when you fail to act or speak.
The idea to write this came to me through the question of repentance, a question some people like to ask. Maybe this is a confession, or perhaps it’s a way to make peace with myself. And if it encourages someone else to reflect, then it has a purpose…
Imagine meeting a person you like. A person where everything feels just right: their appearance, their behavior, their voice, their personality, their interests. A person you fall in love with. Someone whose presence you cherish and whose absence you long for.
You’ve learned to find distractions, but you haven’t quite learned how to deal with your feelings. You think of yourself as inadequate. You’re insecure, unable to muster the courage to approach this person and tell them how you feel, precisely because you believe this person is so special, while you… you’re just you. Someone who will always carry a special place in their heart for this person, yet who feels they are unattainable.
In response to the question that brought me to write these thoughts down, I said that sometimes the things left unspoken weigh heavier in the long run than the things we say. Perhaps I was simply too young to anticipate how things could unfold…
I knew such a person. I was happy when she was near, but I was also unhappy because I couldn’t express my feelings to her. I never told her how I felt back then.
Later, I was able to tell her. When she was covered by stone and further away than ever before. And I? I now stand before the question of whether I could have prevented it, had we been together. Whether she would still be alive today.
I bear guilt—for staying silent. Perhaps I couldn’t have changed anything, or perhaps I could have. That will forever be the question I ask myself.
If you don’t want to live with regret, then speak your feelings. Yes, you may face rejection, but you may also gain something wonderful…